


Split

by CaffeinaShips



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-17
Updated: 2016-11-17
Packaged: 2018-08-31 12:06:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8577907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaffeinaShips/pseuds/CaffeinaShips
Summary: I wrote this according to the rules of SpnColdestHits November challenge, though it is not part of the competition. It's a sequel to http://archiveofourown.org/works/8293000
Following the format of that fic it's written in the form of a gender unspecified reader insert "I".





	

A sharp, stabbing pain flashed from my knuckles, down my arm, and into my shoulder blades. My Lower back spasmed, and my calves were cramped. There was a deep throbbing pain running up from my toes to meet the pain in my legs. Now that I felt the pain I felt it everywhere. My hands felt like ice and fire, my lungs felt raw and hollow. A cold breeze was chilling my legs and feet. I made my eyes crack open, though it took an incredible exertion of force. The dappled sun seeping into the building was overwhelmingly bright, and the shadows were impenetrably dark. I was suspended by my wrists, my feet barely dragging along the floor. It was impossible for me to make out more than a blurred impression of my surroundings, but wherever I was it was dilapidated and crumbling. There was the sound of running water near by, like a fast moving river. Clearly I had been trapped here for days, and now was too weak to hold my head up, let alone struggle. Bile was rising in my throat. I might throw up. I might scream. I flailed myself pitifully in my restraints and heard chains jingle. A face swam into view and for a moment into sharp clarity. A man with bright blue tattoos all over his face was standing in front of me. The sound I made fell far short of a scream, though it took all I had. I tried to jerk my body back away from the man...

Stifling a gasp, my body went rigid in bed. These nightmares happen with such frequency that I've gotten good at waking from them with minimal noise or movement. At first I would sit straight up screaming, but that had resulted in Winchesters drawing weapons and jumping into action mode from a dead sleep often enough that I'd learned to control the reaction. It was a struggle to catch my breath without moving, but Dean's arm was flung over my chest and I knew from months of experience that it wouldn't take much movement to wake him. In general this was not my preferred sleeping position, I liked to sleep with a little space between my body and anyone else's. It had taken some adjustment to learn to sleep with an arm over me, but it seemed to give Dean comfort, so it was worth it. Currently he was breathing rhythmically, and I wanted to keep it that way. I was wide awake now though, and I couldn't shake the feeling that there was another presence in the room. That feeling of being watched. 

Jesus Christ, there was someone watching me. There was a man standing completely silently at the end of the bed. Staring unblinking at us, at ME. 

I screamed involuntarily as I leaped from bed and grabbed the knife from the bedside table, holding it between this strange man and myself, automatically assuming the defensive combat position the Winchesters had taught me. 'Great' I thought, 'Now I'm standing here totally naked. Now I feel safer.' The man tilted his head at me, looking profoundly puzzled. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Dean scrambling into a sitting position. 

"No, Hey, it's cool, he's a friend." 

Dean was sitting up grabbing at his pants. 'Pants' I thought to myself, 'wish I had thought of that.' Suspiciously, I lowered the knife a little. 

"This is Castiel" Dean stood by his side of the bed shirtless and waved a hand toward the very concerned looking man in a trench coat in front of me, "the Castiel I've told you about. The Angel of the Lord"

A loud bang alerted us all to Sam's entry into the room. "Great" I think, "that's everybody. That's everybody seeing me stand here naked'. I do a pretty ungraceful drop to the floor and scramble for my clothes beside the bed. 

"What is happening in here? I heard a scream. Is everyone ok? Hey Cas, it's good to see you again."

Sam was making a very polite and valiant effort to keep eye contact with Castiel. Castiel, however, was watching me scramble for clothes with that same befuddled look on his face.

"We're fine Sam, Cas just startled us."

Dean was sitting on the edge of the bed again, and pulled his tee shirt on. 

"I don't know if that is true Dean, I don't know if we are fine" Castiel stated in a gravelly voice, squinting a little at me "Is this the person you have prayed to me about?"

"Yeah," Dean said gruffly, sounding a little defensive. 

I sat on the edge of the bed feeling very awkward. I've been hearing about the Angel of the Lord on an important mission to heal Heaven as long as I've known the Winchesters. The prodigal brother, the lost best friend, Dean's savior. And now he was standing here, seeming very unwelcoming. He was looking around the motel like he'd never been in one before, and didn't like the feel of it.

"Something is not right. Something is out of place."

His piercing blue eyes focused on me again. It produced a very unnerving feeling in my spine when he stared at me. 

"Either we are out of place, or you are out of place. I must find out which. I'll return in a moment."

And he was gone. Just gone from the spot. I wished heartily for disappearing into thin air powers as both Winchesters stared at me. 

"What the hell was that about" Dean exclaimed.

And Castiel was back. Like he had never left. Standing in the exact spot he had vanished from just a second ago looking as though he had never disappeared into thin air.

"What the hell was that about?" Dean repeated to Castiel angrily.

"I was correct. We are not here. And neither are you. Or rather, we weren't here."

I was not getting used to Castiel's direct stare. Sam shook his head, clearly not making any more sense of Castiel's words than I was.

"Is that supposed to clear something up? What the hell does that mean?" Dean nearly shouted. 

"I think that you had all better sit down. That's appropriate for a complex and stressful discussion, isn't it? Sitting?"

I did not want to linger awkwardly near the edge of this damn bed for another minute and appreciated the direction, so I shrugged and moved to a small round table with four chairs in the corner of the room. Most of the rooms we stayed in had some version of this table, either round like this one or square, though usually only with two chairs. They always felt a little bit greasy or sticky. This one was the sticky kind. I could feel it clinging to my skin when I rested my arms in front of me. Sam gave a small sigh and little shrug and came to join me at the table. My back was to the wall at the back of the room, Sam's back to the big window. Dean did not sit. He took a small step closer to the empty chair on my left, but stood with arms folded, scowling. Castiel did not sit either. He stood unblinking from behind the fourth chair. Castiel and Dean looked at each other for a long second before Castiel turned his body to address me.

"I am now sure that you are not here, and that you have created this world. I am convinced that you are the victim of a Djinn, and that your unspoken wish was for this world to be real. I believe that all of us, this universe, was created to fulfill that wish."

There is just no processing this information. To the side of me I see Dean stiffen, a look of panic set onto his face, his arms drop to his side. I feel like I should say something at this point. This is too big. I open my mouth to reply, to argue, but I just end up sitting there with my mouth open. 

"What? But... What?" 

Sam was stuttering out something at least.

"No way." Dean had his stubborn face on, but it didn't hide the continued look of panic. "When I was captured by that Djinn I had memories of my old life, I had... flashes of myself. Plus, the other people, when I went to confront the Djinn, the other people, Sammy, Mom, they knew they weren't real. They knew they were hallucinations. I'm not... I'm real. I'm not part of some kind of Djinn juice hallucination. We're real."

Dean and Castiel stared at each other again for a moment. There was something about they way they made eye contact that felt familiar to me. There were pieces to put together here. Something I missed. 

"I believe you are right, Dean. I believe we are all real. I believe this universe is real. I believe I may be part of the reason why."

I swear Dean's look of panic increased. He was worried about what this might mean for Castiel, as well as himself, Sam, and of course me. Castiel turned to face me.

"I believe that you created us out of a fictional world in your life. You wished to join your favorite story. Does this sound familiar? I need you to try to remember that story, remember those details."

Oh Christ. Watching TV, reading books, stories on the internet. There are flashes of something there. It's disorienting, but I almost have a sense of it. I close my eyes to concentrate on trying to remember.

I'm shackled in a freezing room. My wrists and shoulders screaming with pain. I can't see, it's too dark. It's nighttime here now, but I swear it was only a few minutes ago that I opened my eyes. Time is slipping past me like the cold wind.

A short yelp escapes me as I jolt back into my seat at the motel. Castiel is still staring at me with the same concerned expression. Sam looks ashen and shocked. Dean is sitting beside me in the chair. When did that happen?

"What happened? What happened here... while I was there."

"You sort of faded." Dean reached out and took my hand on the table. Grabbed it and held tightly. "You flickered and were gone for a second." He swallowed hard, and held my hand a little tighter.

"Jesus" was all Sam said.

"I don't believe that it does us any good to have you re-enter that world at this time" Castiel sounded kind, gentle.

Dean was looking at Castiel with a helpless fear on his face. Castiel was looking at Dean with concern, caring. No, no. This was the missing piece. They were looking at each other with love. Dean was looking at Castiel with the same openness and earnestness that he looked at me. Oh God. How did I miss it. Of course, Of Course, if I was going to create myself a dream guy of course he would be polyamorous, of course he wouldn't be the monogamous type. Yup. That sounds exactly like me. Damnit. For only a moment I allow images of threesomes to dance in my head. Castiel's piercing stare quickly cut through my momentary happy place.

"I need you to remember the story. I need to know about the characters."

God help me, I think I remembered.

"Yeah, some of it is coming back. I think I can maybe put together the outline."

"Try not closing your eyes this time. Try to stay in this world. Can you remember, was there a God character in this story?"

A flash of my living room, disheveled and cluttered. There's a man on TV, with a close cropped beard and wearing a hoodie. That disoriented feeling starts to grab me and I can feel the wind tearing at my ankles. 

Dean's hand squeezing mine brings me back. I can tell from his face I was "flickering" again.

"Yes. Yeah, there was a God. or The God. There was God." I fumble to answer. 

Castiel Nods. 

"A Djinn is also a kind of God, usually with the power to create a sort of short, limited bubble of creation. I think in this case it did not anticipate the complexity of your wish. I believe that when it created this story for you it also created God. That addition of a functioning God in this universe had the effect of making this universe 'real'. I, myself, as a celestial being add further existence to this universe. Myself, my brothers and sisters in Heaven, Heaven itself, and Our Father, have taken this universe from a small, temporary bubble to a complete world. The power of the celestial to create hs added substance where there was fantasy. We are all real now."

There was a moment of silence.

"Jesus" Sam repeated.

There was another moment of silence.

"What happens to this world when I die? What happens in this world when the Djinn finishes... eating me? Or whatever." I wasn't sure I was ready to hear the answer, but I was certainly not going to make anyone else ask the question. 

"God lives, so the Universe lives. We go on. Ideally, however, I would like to prevent your death, if at all possible. I have some ideas about that."

Oh thank God. I hadn't wanted to resign myself to the fate of a slow death in an abandoned factory, no matter how happy I was here. Dean was visibly, significantly relieved. He obviously really believed Castiel could save me. 

"What do we have to do?" 

It was Sam who asked. He sounded so calm, but his face was still grey, and I could feel the tension sitting beside him.

"Nothing. There is nothing any of you can do. I must do this." 

Castiel looked through my soul again.

"Which would you prefer. If you chose, which life would you rather resume, here or there?"

"Do I... get to choose?" That was almost too much to hope for.

"Perhaps. It will be somewhat more dangerous for both of us if I bring you back here, but I feel confident I can do it."

The panic and fear on Dean's face almost pushes me to lie. He and Castiel could make a life without me, but if I insist on trying to come back and something happens to one or both of us...

"I want this life. I don't really consider that other life much worth living. If the extra risk is to me alone, I want to take it. If the extra risk is to you, I say let me die. If I understand Djinn correctly I could have many happy years here while my body dies there. I'm prepared to live like this if it keeps you safe. But don't wake me up there for what I had before."

It was more honest than I meant to be, but it was honest.

"I don't believe that is true in this case. I'm concerned that the factual existence of this universe may alter the perception of time passing. I do not believe you will experience a few days as many years. I believe the best you are likely to get is a few months. I am prepared to take the risk. I will bring you back."

He said it in such a final way that I expected him to disappear immediately. Apparently so did Dean.

"Cas wait! What are you doing? Where are you going? I mean, what's the plan. What is going to happen to the two of you?"

They shared another long bout of eye contact.

"I will travel from this universe to the other universe. The next time you remember your body I will follow your mind to that universe and free you. It will be very exhausting for me and I will need to act quickly. Hopefully I will be able to kill the Djinn as well. I will then transport both of us to this universe, and to a hospital. It will take me some time after that to recover enough to heal you, so you will need to be seen by human doctors. When you are ready please, close your eyes, relax, and try to remember where you are."

Dean still has a tight grip on my hand and I turn to face him. The idea that I'm going to disappear from his side in a moment is crushing me. He puts his other hand on the side of my face and kisses my cheek.

"See you soon"

He's voice breaks a little, but I'm not going to make possibly our last moment together a sappy chick-flick moment. I turn away and flash a quick smile to Sam, and then meet Castiel's eye for a moment. 

"Thank you for trying to save me. Thank you for trying to make my world real."

Still clutching Dean's hand I close my eyes. I try to remember the smell of mildew, wet stone, and rot. I try to focus on the sound of water, rushing and dripping. I try to feel the cold stone beneath my toes. The sharp pain makes me choke on my dry tongue a little. I have no doubt I'm dying. The cold in my toes is stabbing, and my body is shivering uncontrollably. Castiel. Is he here? Am I here? I struggle to open my eyes and mostly succeed. The morning light appears to be just striking the building. There is movement to my left. The man with the tattoos is approaching. I try to struggle, try to drag myself away, but I can't even succeed in lifting my feet. Castiel looms behind him and puts a hand on the Djinn's head. A blue light too bright to look at flows from the Djinn's eyes, and I hear more than see his body drop to the ground. I also hear more than see Castiel breaking the chains above my head, and I fall heavily forward into his arms. It is agony. Every second is agony. He throws me over his shoulder in a fireman carry. 

We are laying on the floor of a hospital. I'm sure it's a hospital because no other place could be this loud, and this bright, and this busy, and still smell a bit like antiseptic. Actually, it probably smells a lot like antiseptic, but I'm sure my sense of smell is trashed right now. The agony continues. My arms, back, and legs are spasming and I think I may be trying to scream, but unable. I'm pretty sure Castiel is lying next to me, but when I try to reach out to him my arms won't move the way I want them to. I realize the reason the people sound so loud is because they are bustling around me. A couple of them lift me onto a stretcher and I lose consciousness. 

There is a bed under me. I try opening my eyes, and it comes much easier this time. There's a nurse changing the bag on my IV. She looks down at me and noticeably jumps when she sees my eyes open. 

"Oh my God! You startled me. You're awake! That's wonderful!"

I don't feel wonderful. There is a dull ache all over my body, and my head feels fuzzy. I know this feeling, I'm on heavy pain killers. 'Good' I think. 

"Where" Oh god, my throat feels full of glass. I swallow, "where is my friend?"

"Don't try to talk yet honey, let me get you some water."

She turned away from me and I tried to push myself up to sit and failed. Luckily she was the talkative type, so she explained as she ran some water into a Styrofoam cup and added a straw.

"He's down the hall. His condition is... odd. I shouldn't tell you any of this though. He just showed up holding you and collapsed, and here you are. That was about six hours ago. He hasn't moved or said a word yet. We assume he's resting, but for some reason we can't get vitals on him. He's obviously not dead though, so we're just observing him and letting him sleep. How do you know him?"

She held the straw to my mouth and I took a sip. It felt like fire and knives and pain, and it was perfect. I took another sip.

"He saved me." 

It was all I could manage. I took another sip of water. My eyes were already starting to close. 

"Well you're gonna be fine now, honey. We have you on some fluids, and some pain meds. It won't be an easy road but we expect you'll recover, especially now that you've regained consciousness. There may be some organ damage, but nothing we can't deal with. The doctor is going to want to talk to you soon, but you should rest now, there'll be plenty of time for talk later."

I couldn't have fought the sleep even if I wanted to. For once, I didn't dream.

The next time I woke up the nurse immediately gets a doctor to speak to me. He has a clipboard and a droning voice. He's telling me that they tried to do what they could but the frostbite was extensive. They'll have to amputate a few of my toes, and the tips of a few fingers. Really, he says, they should have done it right away, but they wanted to wait and see if the tissue... He's talking but I'm not listening. I should be, I know I will care at some point, but right now I don't. I let his words float past me and focus on trying to look like I'm listening. The talkative nurse comes in to fiddle with my IV fluids but doesn't make eye contact with me. The doctor ends by putting an unwanted hand on my arm and telling me that I'm a lucky survivor and will be fine. As soon as he bustles his important self out of the room I turn to the nurse.

"How is my friend?" I ask in a marginally stronger voice.

I can see her struggling not to tell me. I can see the dual forces of HIPPA and her own talkative nature battling for control. Ultimately confidentiality never stood a chance. She turned and faced me, her face alight with mystery.

"Gone. He's gone. About 2 hours ago. One minute poor Shelly was was trying to get a temperature, the next minute he's just gone. Shelly swears she was just standing there holding the thermometer where his ear had been a second ago, but the bed was just empty. Damndest thing I've seen in a damndably long career in a damnable job."

She shook her head, and pushed some buttons on the machine connected to my IV.

"But don't you worry about him. I'm sure a resourceful guy like that will get along just fine. You focus on healing yourself. You've got surgery in the morning, and I want you rested and ready." 

She patted my arm much more sincerely than the doctor and left. I fell asleep immediately.

After what seemed like minutes I was awoken by the feeling of a presence in the room. Castiel was standing by my bed looking exactly as he had looked in the motel what seemed like so long ago. I tried to sit up and almost succeeded. Castiel reached out slowly and placed two fingers in the center of my forehead. All the pain I had already become used to feeling, all the mental clouding from the drugs, all the numbness in my fingers and toes, all vanished. My body felt whole and strong for the first time in my memory.

"Come with me," Castiel stated, taking a step back from the bed.

"The Winchesters are waiting for you."

**Author's Note:**

> It was fun to write, but I have been rushing to go on vacation, so I've barely read through it or proofread it. I can't wait to write something NOT in first person.


End file.
